Forever Dead
by ICanSeeYourFace
Summary: He told me not to watch. So I didn't. I could understand why. Even if I had seen vampires lose a limb every now and then, I didn't want to watch a killing. Especially not since the one getting killed was myself. Oneshot. Spoilers for TSSLoBT.


**A/N**: This is a oneshot I wrote just after reading _The Short Second Life of Bree Tanner_, the novella by Stephenie Meyer that depicts the fight in _Eclipse _from Bree's point of view. This fic depicts Bree's last seconds alive, while being killed by the Volturi. A fair warning to all: If you haven't read _The Short Second Life of Bree Tanner_, and don't want spoilers, I suggest you leave this fic be until you've read the novella.

**Disclaimer**: Stephenie Meyer owns Twilight, I am not making any money on this.

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_Forever Dead_

He told me not to watch.

So I didn't. I could understand why. Even if I had seen vampires lose a limb every now and then (more every now than then), I didn't want to watch a complete dismemberment, a killing, a murder. Especially not since the one getting killed was myself. My life was coming to a second end, and this time, there would be no fire, no awakening, no hunger.

Only pain.

And as I thought it, the Dark Cloaks began devouring me. The pain was instant, and for the first time in a long time, maybe for the first time ever, did I hate the clarity that came with being a vampire. Teeth sank into me, hands took hold of me, ripped me. It was unbearable, and I wanted to scream my heart out, wanted the Yellow Eyes to please please please save me. But I didn't, couldn't. Wouldn't. I bit down hard, squeezed my eyes shut even tighter and hoped the evil that was tearing me apart wouldn't pry them open and make me watch as I died. That was the only thing that scared me, having to watch as this second life left me, bit by bit.

I tried to compartmentalize my death. I put my pain in a mental box, and hid it somewhere along the edges of my consciousness. I put my fear in another box, and tossed it right after it, hoping that the Dark Cloaks would rip it out along with the rest of my body. I put myself, the tiny being that was vampire-Bree, formerly 15-year-old Bree Tanner, in a third box and locked myself away in the darkness. It was safe here, no pain, no fear, only a tiny space in the back of my mind, where I could live out the last seconds of my life. I thought once again of Fred, and I assured myself that he would be okay. They wouldn't be able to find him, Fred always knew to have his own back with his power. Fred would survive. He would wait my allotted 24 hours in Vancouver and then leave. I just wish I could've told him about this. But then again, I'd have to try to explain to him that I didn't regret it. I suppose Fred would find that hard to believe.

I grieved for Diego, now that I knew what had happened to him. I wondered if he had watched. I couldn't assure myself that he hadn't, and I felt a pang of pain because I knew how horrible it must've been for him. What was it Riley had said? I could hardly remember now. _…she tears off your legs…slowly burns off your fingers…lips…tongue…every superfluous appendage… one… by… one…_

She had tortured Diego. What else could that be but slow torture before death's final embrace? Were the Dark Cloaks torturing me now? I didn't know, didn't dare to see if they did, because then I would scream, and my solitary fortress would crumble. I returned to Diego, replaying my time with him. The cave, the BFF-turned-ninja-club, my silly superstitions and the brilliant sparkles from Diego's (and my own) skin. Our scouting (sorry, spying), his reassurances that everything would be fine. Riley's lies. My heart had long since stopped beating, and maybe even been ripped from my body by now, but if it was still in me, part of me, it jumped and trilled at the thought of the Yellow Eyes killing him. That's what you get for telling lies.

My box, my haven is getting hazy around the edges. Death is eager for me to open. I realize it's over soon, and I welcome the notion of resting in peace, forever and ever and then some after that. My last thoughts are aimed at the red-headed Yellow Eye and the human. I never quite understood that constellation. They didn't keep her around to feed on, and I never bought the story about her being a pet. She didn't seem like a trophy either. She was equal, and at least they had plans for her to become a vampire. I sifted through every possibility I could think of, but nothing seemed to match the picture of the red-headed vampire and the frail human in his arms, holding on to him like he was the most important thing in the world, like she…

Like she was in love. Or rather, they were in love. We had attackted a couple in love, and the entire coven of Yellow Eyes had defended her. This stunned me. For my three immortal months, I had always seen the vampire world as a twisted place of conspiracy, violence and blood. Love seemed so out of place in that world. Even Diego's kisses seemed very awkward considering the context. A vampire falling in love with a human, restraining the temptation of her blood was even more outrageous. But it was there. It was there in the way they held on to each other, the way the coven fought for her. It was there in the way they had offered me to join them. It was there, and I would never get it.

The haze is breaking down my fortifications, and I brace myself for the onslaught of pain. But there is nothing. Nothing seeping through the cracks but a dulling, dark haze. This is it, this is Death, and I solemnly think to myself:

_Bree Tanner signing of__f. Goodbye and forever goodnight.

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_**A/N**: Review, please!


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